Stupidity Quoted

Wasabi

2009-08-27T21:05:00.000-07:00

Dude: Wasabi is a sauce made from peas. It's true. I buy them in the grocery store.

Two guys get two slices of cake

2008-12-25T17:41:00.000-08:00

Guy 1: Whoa these are good cakes. Let's see.. red velvet, and.. brown velvet?
Cake giver: You mean pumpkin
Guy 2: Yea this is good pumpkin cake and red pumpkin cake.

$1000 on hard 13 please

2007-12-18T17:06:00.000-08:00

Some gal: I'm going to Vegas to play scraps to pay off my car loans.

What can you muster up, waiter?

2007-12-11T17:52:00.000-08:00

Albert: Can you give us something we can pour this take out food into so that we dont have to eat it out of the containers?
Waiter: You mean plates?

You're Witty, Or ARE YOU?

2007-12-10T14:23:00.000-08:00

This guy I know, his name is uh Tom. He tries to copy his friend named Noraa, who has this really smart response/catchphrase that goes like "or WILL YOU?"as well as "...or AM I?" and other variations. For example, if you ask Noraa: "you're going to class right?", a typical response would be "yeah", but then a few seconds later..."...or AM I??" Poor Tom, tried to use Noraa's phrase at the wrong time with his friend Julie while on a car ride.

Julie: Alrite, you're sitting kinda close.
Tom: Sorry, I'm just trying to buckle my seatbelt.
Tom: I'm not trying to touch your butt.
Tom: ...Or AM I??
Tom: Wait, no no I'm not.
Julie: *dirty look*

Doesn't make sense

2007-12-06T22:46:00.000-08:00

Richard: This tastes like what laundry detergent would taste like if i smelled it.

Not a good analogy

2007-12-03T16:13:00.000-08:00

Eric: I asked him if he was a Christian since he's so crazy obsessed with [christian band] David Crowder Band. It's like.. if you were to put David Crowder and Jesus on a pendulum.... which way would it swing?

But seriously, does anyone want to play with me??

2007-11-22T21:15:00.000-08:00

Aaron: do u want to play a game?
Alan: what game
Aaron: 6 degrees of wiki
Aaron: we pick 2 topics and try to get from topic A to topic B using only wikipedia links
Alan: LOL
Alan: aaron
Aaron: what
Alan: no
Aaron: WHY NOT!!!
Alan: that sounds like research

California, a melting pot of cultures who are respectful to one another

2007-11-19T01:40:00.000-08:00

Hispanic girl: Do you know any martial arts?
Chinese boy: What?! I can't believe you asked me that.
Hispanic girl: Sorry, I just had to.
Chinese boy: Do you know how to clean houses?

Right word, wrong place.

2007-11-19T01:35:00.000-08:00

In an IHOP with many mexican waiters and customers.

Aaron: "Kiss me" in chinese is "Ching ge"
Zobie: WHAT??
Aaron (louder): CHING YI GE.
Zobie (whispering): You know chinga means "fuck" in spanish right?

Ahhhhh no more SPF!

2007-11-17T09:23:00.000-08:00

Linda: I'm allergic to something in sunscreen so I have to find one I'm not allergic to.
Mike: Do you know what you're allergic to?
Linda: SPF.
Mike: Uhh, isn't that like saying you're allergic to Fahrenheit?

Malk: It does a body guud

2007-11-15T22:40:00.000-08:00

Aaron: Jade has a weird way of pronouncing words with "A" in it.
Adrian: Oh yea.. like "milk"

Today's theme: stupid computers

2007-10-30T12:14:00.000-07:00

Amazon's high tech shipping estimation results
Items shipped on October 30, 2007:
Delivery estimate: November 5, 2007 - December 3, 2007

Google Map's indecisive directions
4. Take exit 13 toward Crossroads Pkwy N
5. Turn left at Crossroads Pkwy S
6. Turn right at Crossroads Pkwy N
7. Make a U-turn

The brain shuts off during a graveyard shift

2007-10-29T04:33:00.000-07:00

Coworker: Do you put pictures on Yourspace?
Aaron: No
Coworker: How about Friendsbook?

Good save.

2007-10-26T16:37:00.000-07:00

HR Lady: Are you sick? your cheeks are red.
Aaron: No.. I was born this way.
HR Lady: Oh.. that's good! Red cheeks make you look healthy.

WaaTaaVaa bread

2007-10-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

Aaron: u know what i want right now
Aaron: some indian bread
Aaron: naan
Aaron: or wtv
January: its really called wtv??

Alien Idea

2007-09-30T05:28:00.000-07:00

Evelyn: Let's play Taboo!
Andy: Let's play TEAM Taboo! Wait...

I think your brain got towed

2007-09-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

Coworker 1: I can't find my car.. I think it got towed!
*Calls Coworker 2*
Coworker 1: Hey, you parked next to me right? Did your car get towed?!
Coworker 2: Let me check.. wait no, I'm driving it.
Coworker 1: Oh wait, I'm on the wrong floor.

Three in a row!!

2007-09-08T09:26:00.000-07:00

Aaron: Hey, what floor are you stationed in today?
Coworker: I'm on the fourth floor. There's like.. all these sick people there.
Aaron: ..We're in a hospital.

More Fun at Work

2007-09-05T21:39:00.001-07:00

Coworker: Daw... Dag... Daaaaa...
Aaron: Are you serious?! It says "daughter!"
Coworker: Oh wow, I can't even read.

He Must Have Been Thinking About Seoulroshima

2007-08-31T22:53:00.000-07:00

Trainer: I was actually born in Hiroshima five years after the bomb!
Employee: Oh so you're Korean.

Eat it with a blunt object and a blindfold on

2007-08-20T17:29:00.000-07:00

Aaron: Whoa this is a weird flavor of ice cream!
Jennifer: It's piñata colada.

Overheard in the Fitting Room

2007-08-17T00:48:00.000-07:00

Young Woman: Mom come look at this!
Mom: What is it honey? *walks into fitting room*
Young Woman: These mirrors are angled so you can see the back of you!
Mom: *Silent*
Young Woman: It's GENIUS!

Overheard in LA

2007-08-08T18:42:00.000-07:00

Girl 1: My boyfriend calls me his squishy taco.
Girl 2: Haha. Ew!!
Girl 1: It's because I'm Mexican!
Girl 2: Uh huh...

100th Post!

2007-08-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

*While hiking on a steep and rocky terrain*

Aaron: *says something with a Bear Grylls accent*
Marisa: Haha! Wait, stop making me laugh, I can't see!
Adrian: That's what happens when you have nippy eyes.

Dumbledorks

2007-07-31T17:07:00.001-07:00

Albert: Who is the half-blood prince in Harry Potter?
Carole: I'm not telling!
Albert: Aaron, do you know who the half-blood prince is?
Aaron: Gandalf
Albert: It's Gandalf!!
Carole: That's LOTR

Oh, Randy!

2007-07-17T01:13:00.000-07:00

lucky: i wonder who invented contraceptives
aaron: randy condom invented the condom
lucky: who is randy condom
aaron: inventor of the condom
lucky: no he's not
lucky: how come when i google him, i get nothing

You'd think she'd learn from the first time!

2007-07-12T01:43:00.000-07:00

*Elaine calls the yogurt place*
Yogurt boy: Hello?
Elaine: DON'T GO ON THE 210 FREEWAY!
Yogurt boy: ......huh?
Elaine: omg ADRIAN, DON'T GO ON THE 210 FREEWAY!
Yogurt boy: Um we're closed already.
*Elaine turns mad red*

Aaron's Yogurt. Ew.

2007-07-12T01:37:00.000-07:00

*Phone rings*

Aaron: Hello?
Elaine: Hi do you have plain yogurt today?
Aaron: Um. What?
*Pause*
Elaine: Oh HIIII Aaron!!!! heh heh long time no talk!!!
Aaron: You called the wrong number didn't you?
Elaine: No.. whatcha doin?
Aaron: Not making any yogurt.

Bad Latin

2007-07-10T02:01:00.000-07:00

Adrian: Terra means earth or land
Aaron: Like territory!
Sloh: And terrorizing!

How to make a bad introduction

2007-06-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

Aaron: Hey Jeff, can you take a picture of us?
Jeff: Sure. This must be.... your brother and mom!
Ruth and Matt: what???
Aaron: .... This is my sister and her husband.

2007-06-14T02:19:00.000-07:00

Julia sucks at geography

2007-06-04T16:58:00.001-07:00

*playing around on Akshay's keyboard*

Akshay: Quick! What's the capital of Denver! (plays exciting game show music-esque effect)
Julia: (nervously) Uhh....C-colorado?

Rite Aid. 12 AM. Riverside.

2007-05-31T01:58:00.000-07:00

Aaron: I have 36 copies to pay for
Cashier 1: Hey, how do I do this?
Cashier 2: 36 times 5...
Cashier 1: Let's do it on the register
Cashier 2: It doesnt have a calculator
Cashier 1: 36 times 5... how much is that?
Aaron: ... $1.80
Cashier 1: Really? I don't even care. *Rings me up for $1.80*

Cornenglish

2007-05-27T17:24:00.000-07:00

Cornelius: 10am
Cornelius: earlier to better
Cornelius: so i dont have to change of your plans on that date

Girls and guys think differently.

2007-05-16T23:14:00.000-07:00

Elaine: I love this song. I'm gonna have it playing when I walk down the aisle.
Aaron: What aisle?
Elaine: When i get married..
Aaron: Ohhhh i thought you meant when you walk down the aisle of the restaurant.

No BS prof.

2007-05-16T12:14:00.000-07:00

Latino girl: If we go to all the guest speaker days can we get extra credit?
Professor: No
Latino girl: come on, you only require us to go to three of them.
Professor: This is not a swap meet! you can't negotiate here.

lolphabet

2007-05-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

after watching this

Mary: It's so hard to recite the alphabet backwards. i can't even do it when im sober... "Y"
Marisa: The alphabet does not end with Y

Double-oh-Sadness

2007-03-28T12:33:00.000-07:00

*Talking about what Mike Banh's last name is in different languages*

Mel: What is it in Cantonese?
Mike: It's "buhn," the same basically as in Mandarin.
Stella: Well what about Vietnamese?
MIke: Then it's "bun."
Mel: Haha "bun"! I should call you "bun-bun" from now on!!
Julia: *confused* Why?
Mel: Like "bin" in chinese! It means the same thing in Cantonese!
Mike: GOSH!! Stop making fun of me!
Stella: Oh, don't worry Mike, there's also James Bond!
Mike: But his is spelled B-O-D-N!! Wait...B-O....N-D?

Best Salesman Ever!!!

2007-03-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

Salesguy: See, these big-screen TVs are like another woman to a guy. So, if you bring this home it's like bringing home a threesome. You, him, and this other woman TV. You see?
Chick: Uh, I'm gonna have to think about it.

And they will know that zookeepers stood against many!

2007-03-14T01:48:00.000-07:00

Wynn: I wanna see that move about the Spartans.. "300"
Carolyn: You mean "Zoo?"
Wynn: What?! Thats a "3!"

Guess who's back?

2007-03-13T04:15:00.000-07:00

Aaron: your sn sounds funny when you pronounce it [k1m1am]
Aaron: kay one em one ay em
Kim: sounds like tongue
Aaron: umm
Aaron: not at all
Kim: say it faster
Aaron: no kim..

Nice one

2007-03-08T00:15:00.000-08:00

ks61286: ed
mike: ???
mike: wrong sn?
ks61286: is it mikes bday??
mike: wrong sn???
mike: .........

FOB = Fresh Off the Basketball courts

2007-03-07T15:11:00.000-08:00

Larry: OK these are the teams.. us five against you five.
Fobby Chinese guy with accent: No! Your team is too tall! you must give us one of your tall players, otherwise the game will not be beautiful!

Can't seem to get through to this one

2007-03-05T17:47:00.000-08:00

Kim: i'll sell my voice
Aaron: no...
Kim: ill give MV kids a discount
Aaron: i dont want to buy your voice
Aaron: i want to short your voice
Kim: ahahahha
Kim: whats that mean
Kim: use it for a short?
Aaron: no its a finance term
Kim: animate your comic
Kim: and use my voice

Do math while playing tennis

2007-03-01T02:41:00.000-08:00

Larry: Hey what kinda tennis racket do you have?
Justin: A TI something.. i forget.
Larry: Oh! the TI-89! wait..

Juliha!!

2007-02-28T02:19:00.000-08:00

Elliot: Pocket twos never lose
Julia: Unless you're playing jack black!

Later on...

Justin: Are you trying to say that i'm stupid?
*Elliot smirks and looks away*
Julia: OOOH! silence.. is the answer.. to the yes..
Everyone: What?!

Shat are the odds?

2007-02-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

Elaine: Today was a horrible day.
Elaine: so i'm trying to switch this one class, so i emailed the professor of the class i wanted to switch to
Elaine: and laaaaaaater i ahd remembered that i might've forgotten to mention something, so i went back to read the email i had sent
Elaine: The professor's name is Whitworth
Elaine: and i had written dear professor shitworth

A riddle for you

2007-02-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

Aaron: Can you think of a four letter word with three syllables?
Lindsay: How about "asks"
Aaron: How does that work?
Lindsay: ah-sss-kss.

This is why most professors dont have in class discussions

2007-02-22T19:10:00.000-08:00

Professor: So whats an example of a distribution channel for Bic?
Student: NBC
Professor: That's a great answer... for me to poop on!

(While eating licorice)

2007-02-17T18:33:00.000-08:00

Sharon: Naturally trans fat!
Amy: isn't that bad?
*Jessica stops eating*
Aaron: what???
Sharon: Oh oops... i didn't finish. Naturally trans fat and cholesterol free!

An honest mistake by my roommate Tim.

2007-02-13T00:52:00.000-08:00

Tim: What?! internet disconnected? Hey Aaron did you get jacked off too?
Aaron: umm... what?
Tim: Uh.. i think i was trying to say jacked up and signed off at the same time.
Aaron: Sure you were.

//laugh

2007-02-08T13:10:00.000-08:00

tung f u: lets settle where to eat lunch by rolling
OnlineHost: tung f u rolled 2 6-sided dice: 1 2
tto pee: the hell
nyrkim: how do i do that
tto pee: how do you do that
tung f u: "//roll"
nyrkim: what the!?!?
OnlineHost: tto pee rolled 2 6-sided dice: 5 4
nyrkim: "//roll"
tung f u: you idiot
CHEN: rofls!!
OnlineHost: CHEN rolled 2 6-sided dice: 2 3
yrkim: haha what the!?

halla tite!

2007-02-05T01:15:00.000-08:00

Elaine: i'm so fried, aaron, i'm about to KO on the keyboard
Aaron: cool
Aaron: bye
Elaine: and my fingers are halla sore

Planet Iceland

2007-01-28T15:56:00.000-08:00

Aaron: are you feeling ok today
Christine: ha.. no
Christine: i'm a little giggly right now
Christine: =====TTT
Aaron: did you drink
Christine: it's SUNDAY!
Christine: AFTERNOON!
Aaron: that's happy hour in Iceland
Christine: but we're on Earth!

Sigh..

2007-01-26T22:22:00.000-08:00

A girl trying to play an RPG: OMG what the heck! there are all these people that keep telling me to do stuff~!

This is why he needs a navigation system.

2007-01-21T02:57:00.001-08:00

Jon C: Im on "got hard" street. hahahaha!
Aaron: It's "Gothard."
Jon C: Are you serious?

Richard needs to go to beauty school

2007-01-17T01:22:00.000-08:00

*Rich and I are looking at retreat pictures posted on my facebook*
Rich: Oh my gosh look at Jake (Cheung) in this picture!!
Julia: *looks over*
Rich: He looks so old!
Julia: Oh, cause his eyes are really droopy.
Rich: He looks like his eyes are closed and his skin is coming down and then, and then, like he took one of those....make-up markers and drew two lines on his face.
Julia: .....Uh..make-up markers??
Rich: What are they called???
Julia: Eye liner?

Ringing in 2007 with new stupids!

2007-01-03T15:21:00.000-08:00

Mike: what are you doing now?
Iris: packing for moving
Mike: mmm moving ..... where?
Iris: same city different house
Mike: why are you guys moving??
Iris: cupertino
Mike: ....
Iris: same city
Mike: do you want to go on the stupid blog?
Iris: OHH

Not creative enough for a clever title...

2006-12-19T11:21:00.000-08:00

Mike: Ugh, I'm going to hate Urbana because of the time change!
Emily: How many hours different is it?
Mike: 6 hours!
Emily: Oh no, so much!
Mike: I hope you don't believe me...
Emily: Oh, it's no time change!

Oh Edwardo...

2006-12-08T01:39:00.000-08:00

*shopping at Michael's for encouragement box materials*
Julia: *spots a bin with nice wine tubes with "faux leather" label* Oooooh! These are cool!
Ed: Oh, they're fox leather.
Julia: ...What did you just say?
Ed: Fox. How are you supposed to pronounce it?

(LATER THAT SAME DAY)

*at the cash register*
Ed: The wrapping paper is only three dollars!
Julia: Oh that's awesome! *looks at cash register display* ....wait WHAT?! AHAHAH
(display = $1.99)
Julia: You mean, it's only two dollars?
Ed: What? It say's $1.99!!

Remember that time when julia posted this three times and spelled sugarcult and stapler wrong?

2006-12-07T01:48:00.000-08:00

Avoid the fire you didn't!

Aaron: Can I staple this? (holding a bunch of papers)
Julia: Here. (offers Aaron her stapler)
Colleen: NO! Mine is cooler!!!! (hands Aaron her stapler)
Aaron: (tries to read the staper) What does this say? Sugercult?

ACTUAL TEXT: Singulair

posted by Julia Kwan at 1:24 AM | 0 comments links to this post

Avoid the fire you didn't!

Aaron: Can I staple this? (holding a bunch of papers)
Julia: Here. (offers Aaron her stapler)
Colleen: NO! Mine is cooler!!!! (hands Aaron her stapler)
Aaron: (tries to read the staper) What does this say? Sugercult?

ACTUAL TEXT: Singulair

posted by Julia Kwan at 1:03 AM | 0 comments links to this post

Avoid the fire you didn't!

Aaron: Can I staple this? (holding a bunch of papers)
Julia: Here. (offers Aaron her stapler)
Colleen: NO! Mine is cooler!!!! (hands Aaron her stapler)
Aaron: (tries to read the staper) What does this say? Sugercult?

ACTUAL TEXT: Singulair
posted by Julia Kwan at 1:03 AM | 0 comments links to this post

Avoid the fire you didn't!

2006-12-07T01:24:00.000-08:00

Aaron: Can I staple this? (holding a bunch of papers)
Julia: Here. (offers Aaron her stapler)
Colleen: NO! Mine is cooler!!!! (hands Aaron her stapler)
Aaron: (tries to read the staper) What does this say? Sugercult?

ACTUAL TEXT: Singulair

Best country ever!

2006-12-06T09:50:00.000-08:00

Julia: Dude, European bands are so good! Let me think...what other really good bands are there from Europe are there?
Akshay: Sigur Ros is from Europe.
Julia: Oh really? Which country?
Akshay: Sweden-uh Swedeland.

i get a kick out of typos.

2006-11-30T08:39:00.000-08:00

Marisa: well aaron its because i feel this strong connection with you since we are both level 70 necro manswers

I prefer Adidas.

2006-11-28T11:55:00.000-08:00

Girl #1: We're conversing over here.
Girl #2: The word is conversate. Converse is a shoe!

id like to do them.

2006-11-26T21:01:00.000-08:00

Kim: ok i have the flu
Kim: bring me soup please
Aaron: are you in riverside?
Kim: yes
Aaron: too bad im in cupertino
Kim: great
Kim: now im going to die
Kim: like you'd do them anyway

Kim strikes again.

2006-11-17T01:57:00.000-08:00

Kim: because its a _ _ _ _ fest
Aaron: u can say cock
Kim: EEEWWW
Aaron: cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock
Kim: im telling your MOTHER
Aaron: its a male chicken
Kim: what
Kim: no its not
Kim: its a male rooster
Kim: dumbutt

Grammar - -;

2006-11-15T02:14:00.000-08:00

wynn: you got ur song stuck in my voice
wynn: wait
wynn: stick in my HEAD
wynn: STUCK

Fantasy Basketball

2006-11-11T11:20:00.000-08:00

Mike Wang: IM ABOUT TO DRAFT
Mike Wang: FOR
Mike Wang: FANTASY BASKETBALL KSDJGN!
Elaine: yayy!!!
Elaine: what the crap is that
Mike Wang: wow
Mike Wang: u dont know
Mike Wang: what fantasy basketball is
Elaine: some video game

dur..

2006-11-09T13:45:00.000-08:00

Janet: I'm driving
Aaron: haha DONT DRINK AND IM!
Aaron: wait
Aaron: DONT IM AND DRIVE

But they're endangered....

2006-11-08T17:00:00.000-08:00

Victor: Dude, your pumpkin was really good for your first time.
Julia: Thanks! It was so fun to carve.
Victor: You should carve pumpkins year round!
Julia: But...they don't sell penguins all the time.
Victor: ...What the hell?

Rated R for Racist so dont read this post if you're going to be mad.

2006-11-03T01:44:00.000-08:00

Boy: wanna hear a reallly racist joke?
Girl: k go
Boy: what does NAACP stand for?
Girl: national association actually covering poop
Girl: i dunno, what does it stand for?
Boy: now apes are considered people
Girl: ok
Girl: when did this happen?
Boy: what
Girl: are you being sarcastic?
Boy: ???
Girl: k
Girl: nm
Girl: tell me your joke
Boy: that was the joke
Boy: you idiot
Girl: OMG
Girl: where?

Raucous laughter all around!!!!

2006-11-02T00:11:00.000-08:00

*Aaron sees Colleen's Voss water bottle*
Aaron: That looks like a bong!
Colleen: Whaat?? Drink some!!
Aaron: Why?
Colleen: Drink it! It's special!
Aaron: Why is it special? Will it make me peutiful?

Kim claims to be an engineer

2006-11-01T22:05:00.000-08:00

Kim: there's this elite CS lab on the top floor. you can't even use it unless you know the password. it's something crazy like "m, exclamation point, zero, shalft..."
*Aaron gives Kim a blank stare*
Kim: I meant shift alt!!
Aaron: that doesn't even type anything!!!

I have notes for you :D

2006-10-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

Jumbah juice: sorry i wasnt in class
Jumbah juice: i had a soc midterm
hooliagooolia: s'aaallll good
hooliagooolia: how did it go?
Jumbah juice: it was pretty ez
Jumbah juice: but i dont wanna jonx myself

Reget!

2006-10-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

Justin: I can tell who's a hot guy. It's like my fifth sense.

The most deadly of all hospitals

2006-10-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

rayvshing: i was watching vh1 yesterday and i saw a special on biggy. when he got shot, they sent him to cedar cyanide
rayvshing: that's where YOU'LL be working
rayvshing: crazy

Where does my oxygen go?

2006-10-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

Colleen: You know how there's two tubes in your throat?
Julia: Yea...
Colleen: And how one's for drinking and the other's for swallowing?

invetsmend class

2006-10-12T16:58:00.000-07:00

(a group was presenting in my investment class. one of the group members wrote on the board)

it says "Fiancing actvites, Dividents"

the guy wasnt a fob. he wasnt even asian. no excuse.

i want to drop out of ucr.

You dont need to maintain a C average to play IMs

2006-10-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

(at an intramural basketball preseason meeting)

IM coordinator: alright, any questions before we end?
Some freshman: umm.. are there fouls?

2006-10-10T23:11:00.000-07:00

(Julia looks at a picture of herself)
Julia: Why are my eyes so shiny?
Aaron: Maybe because you're wearing glasses?

When in doubt, use a word that sounds close.

2006-09-18T11:37:00.000-07:00

Mike: If Person A and Person B had kids it would be okay since they are far enough apart from each other.
Emily: No they can't! That's incense still!

And she wasn't drunk...

2006-09-10T08:19:00.000-07:00

Elaine: I just polished my nails. Mike, feel how shiny they are.
Mike: Feel how shiny they are?
Elaine: Yes, feel them, they're shiny.
Mike: Feel how shiny they are?
(Elaine bursts into laughter)

Cripped Walking

2006-09-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

Christiana: It was so cool! He broke danced and it was so good!

Unformal Meeting

2006-08-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

Julia: um...it's unformal i guess
Mike: unformal...
Mike: huh
Julia: it's on the beach?
Julia: so
Julia: yea

I can't even think of a title for Johnson

2006-08-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

Jason: Priscilla, did you get new glasses?
Priscilla: Yeah.
Johnson: Are those new glasses?

2 Labor Days per year!

2006-08-13T00:23:00.000-07:00

Mike: I'm going up to Mammoth during Labor Day weekend.
Josh: In November?
Mike: No it's in September.
Josh: Oh I thought you meant the November one.

Not stupid but funny

2006-08-11T22:27:00.000-07:00

Christiana: I want black cherry ice cream.
(Looks up and sees that it is on the top shelf)
Mike: Need some help?
Christiana: Nevermind, I want chocolate.

Rush hour freeway

2006-08-05T01:12:00.000-07:00

Mike: You're leaving work now? There's going to be so much traffic!
Kathy: Shouldn't be that bad...

(A few minutes later)

Kathy: Man there's freeway! I mean traffic.

Lions, Tigers, and Dragons! Oh my!

2006-07-31T23:44:00.000-07:00

Emily: you were paddling for an hour??? omg!
Mike: ....
Mike: that's 1 minute and 2 seconds ...

Like father, like Ben

2006-07-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

Mike: How far is this from your house?
Christiana: Not that far at all...if there was traffic on the 210 then it would be further...

Underwhere? Underwear?

2006-07-24T21:40:00.000-07:00

Mike: i bought underarmour
Mike: it's so cool
Emily Yan: armour for what?
Emily Yan: fencing?
Mike: ......

Kentucky Fried Stupid

2006-07-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

(Leon see's a sign stating that they give cash back on ATM Cards)

KFC Cashier: So your total comes to $20.31
Leon: Here you go, can I get $20 cash back too? (Hands him ATM card)
KFC Cashier: What do you mean? It's $20.31...
Leon: I know, I want $20 cash back.
KFC Cashier: Okay, but how are you going to pay for the 31 cents? Your meal is $20.31!
Leon: What?!?! Okay, here's what you do, charge my card for $40.31...
KFC Cashier: Sorry sir, but we only take $20s.
Leon: Okay, just charge my card for $20 and give me $20...
KFC Cashier: Here's your $20, now after you give the $20 back you still owe 31 cents! How are you going to pay the 31 cents?

(A lot of lost and confused facial expressions)

A tribute to Johnson

2006-07-20T23:49:00.000-07:00

Johnson: Hey, what's that?
Aaron: A pager.
Johnson: Dang, so retro!
Aaron: A Cheesecake Factory pager...

-----

Johnson: Where do you have in mind? CPK? Shipyard? I mean Yardhouse.

-----

Colleen: So the big button is lock, the button on the left is unlock, and the right one is the trunk.
Johnson: So there's 4 buttons?

-----

Colleen: ewwwwwwwwwww
Johnson: Is that a burp?

Another Ben moment for my last day of work

2006-07-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Tabish: What city is your new job?
Mike: El Monte
Tabish: Oh that's pretty close, like 20 miles?
Ben Hui: NO! (Shakes his head violently) There's traffic! It's 30 miles!

Ben strikes again!

2006-07-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

Mike: So, do you introduce her as your fiance? Isn't that weird?
Tabish: Yeah I do. It's a little weird.
Ben Hui: Introduce who?
Tabish: My guess would be, my fiance.

Canadia

2006-07-15T01:21:00.000-07:00

(Talking about our dragonboat race in Canada)

Gilda: So yeah, I couldn't buy anything because I didn't have any Canadian dollars.
Will: You couldn't use real money?
Mike: What?
Will: You know, real money.
Mike: You mean US dollars?
Will: Yeah, same thing!

Can't think of a funny title

2006-07-14T02:00:00.000-07:00

David: Anthony!
Sarah: What?
David: ANTHONY!
Sarah: WHAT?!?
David: Is your name Anthony?
Sarah: Oh, I thought you were saying Sarah. Anthony sounds like Sarah.

Ben speaks Randomese

2006-07-12T14:34:00.000-07:00

Jeff Wang: So you get your DNA from your mother's egg and father's sperm.
Mike: 23 chromosomes from each.
Jeff Wang: Right, so identical twins have the same DNA because they are getting the chromosomes from the same egg and sperm, they just split.
Ben Hui: Man our world is so unsafe.
Jeff Wang and Mike: What?
Ben Hui: Think about it, anyone can read our e-mails.
Jeff Wang: Way to contribute to this conversation.